12 Reasons You Need to Hire a Life Coach During Your Divorce
Let’s face it, not many people are prepared when it comes to getting a divorce. Even though the statistics point to a little more than half of all marriages ending in divorce, the thought of educating yourself about divorce around the time you are planning your wedding, probably did not cross your mind. And I’m by no means suggesting it should. When it comes to getting a divorce, most people face a pretty steep learning curve about the legal process, and often drastically underestimate the emotional journey they are about to embark on.
To put it very simply, divorce is a legal process to end your marriage. It is also a major life decision. Wrapped up in that process, in addition to the legalities, is the untangling of a family, the grief over what was or what could have been, transitioning to new places to live and new routines, obtaining new streams of income, or new expenses that you did not have to deal with before, new roles in your family, new persons added to the family dynamic. This only scratches the surface of this huge life transition. Where do you even begin to get help with all these new things you are experiencing in your life? How can you be sure you are making sound decisions, when you are in the fog of divorce?
I spent 10 years as a divorce attorney before becoming a certified Life Coach for women in divorce or separation. I know first hand about the unmet needs that someone going through divorce experiences. As an attorney, I was often looked at to help with not only the legal process of getting a divorce (ultimately what I was hired to do), but to be a counselor, a financial advisor, a realtor, a friend, a cheerleader, a bully, and a magician (all things I had no special training in). Why are attorneys looked at to fill all of these roles? Because they are typically the only point of contact for someone going through a divorce, who understands divorce, so they are seen as the point person to help with all of these areas, even though that is not their job.
I became a Certified Life Coach to help women navigate through all the practical and emotional implications of getting a divorce. I was done getting people from point A (married) to point B (divorced) and then sending them on to live their lives. I knew that in this transition time there were opportunities for healing, for clarity, for transformation. To me, this is more important than filing papers to end your marriage. I ended my practice as a divorce attorney, and now help divorcing women experience empowerment, clarity, and self-love.
How can working with a Life Coach help you? First, a coach provides you with the right kind of support that you need during this time. Second, a coach creates a system for you to work through to become empowered and experience transformation. Third, a coach keeps you accountable to yourself and the vision you hold for your life.
Here are 12 reasons to hire a Life Coach before, during, or after your divorce or separation:
1. You need clarity when you are not thinking clearly.
2. You feel overwhelmed by what to do.
3. You don’t know which process to choose to get divorced, or what the processes even are.
4. All your friends are telling you different things, and you’re hearing lots of horror stories about what could happen, and you don’t know who to listen to.
5. You are quickly using up your retainer for your attorney, but you don’t know who else to talk to about what’s happening in your divorce.
6. You feel controlled by your ex’s behavior, and you want freedom from your reaction to him/her.
7. Your divorce is over, and you’re not sure what to do with your life.
8. You have no outside support, and you need some help.
9. You are ready to HEAL, and are not sure how to do this.
10. You know this is a big life transition, but you’re not even sure what you want.
11. You are paralyzed by fear.
12. You feel like things are happening in your life that you have no control over.
Divorce is not a time in your life where you should go it alone. Just like you wouldn’t have a baby without any help, or get married without any help, or buy a house without any help, divorce is also a time to work with people who have the knowledge and experience to help you through the transition. While people have done these things on their own, when you work with someone who can support and empower you, guide you to what you truly want for your life and your family, and give you the tools to create transformation, you will be in a better place to make smart, thoughtful, and sound decisions for you and your family.